In a movie, when you see the pretty young girl, improbably clad in a wet t-shirt and no pants, run into a dark room where she knows there’s a massive fangy-ass people-eating zombie-raptor lying in wait, the first thing she does is set her raptor-rifle down by the door, not turn on the lights, and run forward in a blind panic to save her beloved hamster. Is that what you or I would do? Probably not. We’re more likely to say fuck the hamster, call an Uber and get the hell out of raptorville because, unlike movie characters, we’re not total idiots.

Well… let’s not be too hasty.