I imagine myself to be a dreamstate transceiver, simultaneously projecting and perceiving my reality, so that wherever I go, however far I travel outward toward some imagined edge, I’m always at the exact center of my personal bubbleverse. The borders move with me, the edges move as I move. The past dissolves behind me and the future renders ahead. To my way of thinking, we are not all in the same dreamstate, we are each alone in our own, but that’s just my view, my personal theory; maybe we’re all sharing the same dream. Or maybe we really do live in an infinite timespace, energymatter universe and nonduality is total bullshit. Reason tells me otherwise, but reason tells me that nostrils, pelicans and ice cream headaches are illusions too, so who knows what to think? Reason tells us that the whole universe is just a dramatic production for the amusement of awareness, so what the fuck does reason know?

I don’t know. I’ll take reason over feeling or sense-reporting any day, but as far as I can tell, and reason supports this, I’m a total dipshit, so how good can my reasoning really be? Sure, there’s a bit more to the whole enlightened spiritual master thing than just the free subscription to ESM Today magazine, but at this point, I can’t imagine or remember being asleep. Maybe I really went through all that waking up business, or maybe some asshole slipped something in my drink. I don’t think so, but then, I wouldn’t, would I?