Contrary to popular belief, shit doesn’t just randomly happen. Shit can happen, and it certainly does happen to eyes-closed, fear-based, ego-clad, herdbound juveniles, but why would any sane person remain in that state beyond the age of sexual maturity? Obviously, no sane person would because it’s the very definition of insanity. 

Shit Happens refers to the bad luck and misfortune that befalls everyone now and then, but is it really everyone or just almost everyone? In my experience, of all living creatures, it’s only the freakish sub-species, Human Child, to whom shit happens.