It seems that here in the Age of Communication – which has sounded the death knell of authentic human communication – every fourteenth person you meet is an enlightened spiritual master with a thriving internet presence and a well-oiled line of babble promising to revolutionize your life without the pesky revolution part, i.e., have your cake and eat it too.

In this talk-based journey of zero steps, gurubird upheaves the spiritual message they swallowed, before regurgitating it into the awaiting mouths of their hungry chelabirds who, by consuming enough of this sickly-sweet pre-digested wisdom, hope to someday graduate from catcher to pitcher, if such an unsavory trope might stand.