Marichelle 18

You don’t just come to a door and get out. There’s no door like that. Even if you get to a door and go through it, it was still just a coma door. There are many doors in coma that don’t go out, they just go somewhere else in coma.

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You can go through many doors to many places, but that’s a trick on you. You never went anywhere. You’re still right where you always were. You can do that forever. Anything can be a door in a mirage. You can walk through anything. 

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Deep inside is still outside. You can go very far and still be in coma, don’t be so easy to fool. Coma goes very far in and very far out. Maybe it goes forever, I don’t know. Probably forever. That’s a guess. 

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What can you do? I don’t know, you can do what you can do I guess. Can you make yourself a bug or make time go backward or go inside the sun? The normal answer is no, but there is no normal, there’s only whatever you can do. Maybe you can be a bug, I don’t know. I hear a lot of crazy things. Why can’t you be a bug? Where is it written? Nowhere that I know. I don’t know what the rules are. Nothing is written.

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I can’t make myself a bug because I don’t want to, so okay. If I want to be a bug for a few minutes I put my attention there. Or a bird maybe. That’s better. Just for the flying around part though. Or maybe a fish, why not? But I have no great desire.

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You can live on a life raft for a long time. Where does that emotion come from to help you do that? Maybe you’re scared of dying or you want to see your children or maybe you want revenge, some strong emotion like that. Don’t feel bad about emotion, let emotion be your friend. Maybe you want to speak some other language so with enough emotion you can make this happen. Without the right emotion nothing happens. 

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If you want to be a bug for a few minutes, that’s how it happens. If you want to go in the sun maybe you can. If you can want it I guess you can do it. I don’t think you can want it and not be able to do it. You can do it if you want it right. That’s another guess, I’m not sure it’s right. 

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I hear myself talking some nonsense. Not talking nonsense makes talking harder so it’s easier to add even a little nonsense. I could talk nonsense all day, no problem. I used to read guru books and they talk very nice because they talk mostly nonsense. We’re all one and you are everything and this is it and more like that. You can talk like that all the time and everyone likes it because it’s nice to hear. That way you’re doing a nice thing for people, telling them what they want to hear.

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You’re doing great. Just by being you you’re doing great. Maybe it’s good for people to believe that or they could get pretty crazy. That’s what people want to hear. Very soothing I would say. You tell people what they want to hear and they’re happy so they buy you a new speedboat or something. I already have the right number of speedboats thank you.

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What is the point for waking out of coma? I’m sorry to tell you there is no point. Maybe there’s a point inside coma because coma is a place where there can be points, but there are no points outside of coma. The point of feeding the cat is so it doesn’t die, but that doesn’t make the cat a real thing. 

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You don’t get it all in five seconds. It’s not like I tell you and now you know. There is no shortcut way, no better way or easy way or smart way, there’s just the keep chipping away way. 

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You are like a doll that’s hollow inside. You don’t know you’re hollow so when you feel emptiness you think something’s wrong. You think you’re real, not a doll. You think the emptiness is because something is broken so you try to fix it somehow. That’s basically the whole story, but emptiness is not wrong. Nothing is wrong so you don’t need to fix anything. Don’t feel bad about being hollow, that’s just how dolls are. There is no problem so you don’t have to fix anything.

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What’s wrong with having problems? Nothing I would say. Problems are great. Have all the problems you want. Problems are good to have. You fix them or solve them or just get upset with them. I know you don’t like your problems, but maybe think about that. Problems are a good sign. You’ll miss them when they’re gone. 

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I would say don’t worry about the source of an idea, just worry about the idea. This is all business, not personal, okay? You need a business mind to go forward, to understand even a little. You have to put aside things where there is no value and focus on the value, not the sentiment.