Dr. Phil: We have a special treat for you today. We’re gonna bring a real live vampire out here — well, I don’t know if live is the right word — anyhoo, we’re gonna ask him the hard questions. How does that sound?

Audience applauds. Vampire steps out on stage. Seems like a regular guy. 

Dr. Phil: Well, you seem like a regular guy, so to prove to our audience that you’re a real vampire, we brought out this mirror. As everyone can see, it’s a perfectly normal mirror. See? Here I am…